Monthly Archives

August 2019

Everyone Hates Me

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“Everyone hates me. No one wants to hang out with me. My coworkers don’t want me around.”

There is a small voice in the back of our minds trying to convince us that the world is against you. That you are small, insignificant, unworthy and unloved. It’s the voice in the crowded rooming saying you’ll never be enough. It’s the bang of self-doubt when you are around your friends or loved ones.

This voice affects each and every one of us in different ways. It may be telling you that you will never be able to live out your dreams because you are not talented or pretty enough. It may tell you that you don’t have ‘real’ friends and that those who hang out with you do so out of pity. It may be a rush of anxiety when you face a new situation, telling you that you are and will be a failure. This voice. This negative, lying voice. This voice is trying to stop you from being the best that you can be. It wants you to believe that you are unworthy and unloved.

The problem with this voice is when we believe it! We believe the lies we are being told, we believe the media when they say we aren’t good enough or talented enough. We believe that we are less than we really are.

But I am here to implore you to push aside this voice. To push aside the negative thoughts. To believe the best about yourself and not hold back out of fear or anxiety. If I could leave one thought with you it would be to you remember WHO YOU ARE.

You were made in the image of an almighty and loving Creator.

You were made to do great and powerful things.

You were made to bring light and goodness into the world.

You are worthy of more than an anxiety filled, stressful life.

You are completely and totally loved. You are loved more than you will ever know.

Most of all, have faith in yourself. Believe that you are capable, intelligent, worthy, loved and strong.

Remember, today and everyday, who you are. You are worth more than you’ll every know. Be proud of yourself. Speak positive and kind words about yourself. But most of all, remember how loved you truly are.

Your Choices Are Directly Impacting the Quality of Your Life

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Where you are today is a direct result of the choices you made in your past. Your confidence in yourself is a series of choices. Choices that you make, the things that you say, and the life that you lead. Every day you are given several options, and the path and choices you make today will directly impact the course of your life.
The question becomes, what choices are you making? Are the choices you are making leading you to a more confident life? Or are they leading you to a life where you are full of distrust in yourself and your abilities?
This is an area that I struggle with every single day. It’s easy to focus on only my negative choices and the negative things happening in my life. I can jump down the rabbit hole and get lost in these thoughts if I don’t make a conscious decision to focus on the positives. To say that I am worthy of more than I believe I am. That this life is what I make of it, I can make it a positive and wonderful experience, or I can choose to succumb to the dark thoughts that are always trying to encroach on our life.
As I strive to be a more positive, confident person I have found a couple avenues that have helped guide me in this process.
1.) Take Time to Invest in You
Get out of your comfort zone and invest in yourself. Learn something you’ve always wanted to know. Take a new class on a subject you’ve always found interesting. Get out and explore a new area of your state and look at it with fresh eyes. Go to your favorite bakery and enjoy a cup of coffee and a good book. Invest in you, invest in your future. Don’t be afraid to step out into a new field. Confidence and positive lifestyle starts with a single step.
2.) Positive, No Negatives
Of all the negative things we say in this world, sometimes the worst things we say are to ourselves. We tell ourselves that we are unworthy, ugly, unintelligent, and a whole host of other things. The more we say these negative things about ourselves, the more we will believe them. We are quick to believe the worst in ourselves instead of believing the best. Confidence comes when we choose to be positive instead of negative. When we choose to tell ourselves that we are beloved and worthy we change our thought process.
3.) Give Selflessly to Others
Giving of your time, energy, and resources will elevate your confidence. I don’t feel less confident than when I have treated someone unfairly or without kindness. When I have chosen to be selfish instead of being giving and selfless. There is something about treating others right that leads to an abundance of confidence and joy. Pay it forward to the stranger at Starbucks, run an errand for your spouse, or treat your least favorite coworker with kindness. Try to live a more selfless life and in turn your confidence with grow.
Choose today to take steps toward a confident future. Be content with where you are now but be willing to push forward toward your dreams. Say kind and positive things to yourself and let go of the doubt from your past mistakes. Your choice today will impact your confidence and your future endeavors.

Finding Confidence in the Workplace

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Do you ever feel inadequate for your job? Do you ever feel like you can’t handle any more stress, anymore assignments, or just anything at work?

If you have those feelings, let me tell you, they are NORMAL. It is normal to be unsure about your work. It is okay to wonder if you are in the right field. It is okay to be frustrated and stressed out. One of the biggest misconceptions I’ve ever heard is that you have to have a career lined up that you love and are amazing at by the age of 22. I mean seriously, who knows exactly what they want to do at 22?!

The truth is that we should be taught that our careers will constantly be evolving. That it is okay to jump into a different field, to try a new path, to learn a new skill outside of your current path. These things should be what we are encouraging our colleagues to do. The more that we explore and reach out, the more discover about our skills and talents. We may find out that we are actually amazing at history and have the skills to be a teacher. We may find our that we can’t stand corporate life and want to venture out on your own. Or you may find out you can’t stand the stress of the entrepreneur lifestyle and that you crave the stability of corporate life.

Confidence in today’s workplace really equates to confidence in yourself. Work will always be stressful, will always have unexpected ups and downs, and will always bring frustration into your life. So how are we to have and build our confidence in the workplace?

1.) Starts with acknowledging that you are not STUCK.

You are not stuck in this job or in this career. Regardless of the roadblocks you allow your mind to believe, you are NOT stuck. You can move out of that job and into a new position. Companies do not own you, you are free to leave and explore new options. There are countless blogs, posts and colleagues who you can go to to learn how to leverage your current skills, position and background to get into the job you want to be in.

2.) You are capable. You are intelligent. You can do this.

One of the first steps in any job, and especially when you are looking to build your confidence levels is to remember that you are enough. You have the skills, knowledge and determination to do this job and do it well. If you are feeling that you lack in one area or another, take initiative to learn. Get out of your comfort zone, listen to podcasts, go to a seminar, or ask those around you for help. It’s okay to admit you don’t know something, it doesn’t make you unable to do a job, it actually makes you the perfect fit. It means that you are willing to grow, willing to admit when you need help and willing to do what it takes to do the job well.

3.) Stand Up for Yourself.

This is one of my biggest challenges, being able to stand up for myself. Realizing that even though you may work for a company and have a boss, that does not give someone the right to walk all over you. You are strong, capable, smart, and confident. Be confident that you are worthy and people cannot walk over you and your ideas. Stand tall, stand proud and know that you are just as important as they are. At the end of the day, we are all human, we all bleed red. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are.

Whatever happens in your career, believe in yourself. Believe in your abilities, believe in who you are, believe you are capable, but most importantly believe that you are worthy.

xoxo-Kayla

Your Worth Cannot Be Taken From You

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Jealousy is one of the easiest temptations to fall into, it can demolish your self-worth quicker than you would believe. It comes out of nowhere and hits you like a ton of bricks. Sometimes it hits you in areas that you thought you were strong in. Jealousy rattles your brain, making you question, making you wonder, making you doubt your worth. Our world is constantly pressuring us with the ways they want to define us. We are defined by our looks, by our fitness levels, by our job, by our philanthropy, by our political views, by the home we live in, and honestly the list could go on for days. Jealousy is the byproduct of this pressure to be defined. We feel this need to live up to the standards set for us and that if we are not reaching our highest potential then we have failed.

Know this: you are more than what this world says you are. Your worth is not determined by this world. Your worth is something that cannot be taken from you. Your worth comes from within, your worth is God-given, your worth is undeniable. You are worthy of goodness, of happiness, of a beautiful and wonderful life.

Every single person on this Earth was created with a purpose. Each day that you are alive, each breath that you take is for a reason. You are here to bring goodness to the world, to help those around you, to make this world a little better than it was before. Take a moment to remember that you are right where you need to be. You are in this state, in this city, in this job for a reason. Be thankful for where you are now, grow in that moment, and do not let your self-worth be defined by this world.  

When pangs of jealousy hit, remember that your worth cannot be taken from you. That jealousy is a symptom of a broken world, it is a byproduct of sin. Jealousy is inevitable, but you can fight it by remembering who you are. You are perfectly and wonderfully made. You were made in the image of a perfect Creator. You were made to do more than you ever dreamed possible.

As you go through your week, keep these things in mind.

You are worthy of love, trust and respect.

You are worthy of a good and happy life.

You are worthy of a job that you love.

You are worthy of a partner who loves and adores you.

You are worthy of the life you’ve always dreamed of.

You are worthy. Repeat that over and over until you believe it.

You were made in the image of a perfect, gracious God. He did not create you by accident. He loves and adores you and is your biggest advocate that you are worthy of so much more than you believe. Take heart that He loves and adores you just the way you are.

xoxo-Kayla