When’s the last time you found yourself subconsciously comparing yourself to someone around you? I bet it was not long ago. I bet that you didn’t even realize it was happening until it started putting you in a bad mood. I bet you got mad at yourself for yet again comparing yourself to those around you.
This is a tough one. Regardless of your age, your gender, your career goals, your personal goals, we compare. We compare and we compare far more than we realize. Everyone knows that we compare ourselves to each other and we are constantly told that it is unacceptable to compare. So how do we beat the comparison game? How do we overcome the comparison?
Start by Building Yourself Up
Start building up your own confidence. Every morning tell yourself these 5 things:
- I am incredibly smart
- I am beautiful
- I am worthy of love and respect
- I am capable of achieving anything I set my mind too
- I am confident
When you build up your confidence and start telling yourself that you are worthy of more than you give yourself credit for, you will find yourself walking without the need to compare. This doesn’t happen overnight and most likely you won’t even see the change. What will happen is that you start to see yourself being happier and walking with your head held high. Those are the signs of an confident person who doesn’t need to compare.
Make an Effort To Build Up Others
Build up those around you. And I don’t just mean when you feel like it or when its convenient to you. Make a conscious effort to be a light in someone else’s life. Go out of your way to do something that is selfless. What I’ve found is when I step outside my own bubble, I am able to put things into perspective. Once things are in perspective I realize how petty my comparisons have been.
- Give a genuine compliment to someone you’ve compared yourself to in the past.
- Help someone who is less fortunate than yourself
- Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter
- Write a note building up a friend, family member or coworker
- Bring a meal over to a family who could use some help
Whatever you do, try to do it out of love. Do it out of a place of selflessness. The more you help those around you, the less you will focus on your own problems. It’s one of the unique things about mankind, the more we give the more we gain in return.
Find People To Look Up To
A tried and proven way to build your confidence is to find people to look up to. Find those who have developed confidence and start learning about their methods. How they overcame insecurities, how they grew into a more confident person. Having someone to look up to and be a mentor will help you develop your confidence. There is no shame in looking and seeking help.
You are a bright, wonderful, intelligent woman. Be strong, be confident and be kind. You’ve got this!