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Tips to a confident life Archives -

Staying Confident in a World that Doesn’t Want You to Succeed

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You can’t have that. That is a ridiculous idea. You wasted so much time and money pursuing something that will never work out. The amount of times I have seen disapproving faces from people when I talk about my life goals, or what my huband and I are doing in life is insane. People either don’t understand why, don’t want to, or believe that we are ruining our lives. There aren’t many people out there anymore who are genuinely there to help you and encourage you. To say that you are more than what you have allowed yourself to believe. If I could say anything to you, it would be this, you are more than you believe. You can take a chance and still be successful. You can be so much more than you give yourself credit for.

And this isn’t a generational thing, my parents decided to change careers and pursue their passion. Which is an incredible, wonderful and brave thing to do. But the amount of disapproval, you’ll never accomplish it, and general nasty attitudes was insane. First of all, we live in the United States a place known for making your dreams come true. So why can’t the average every day person pursue their goals? Because we get sucked in my debts and responsibilities and believe we can’t take care of those while also pursuing that which gives us life. And I’m as guilty of this as anyone. I get sucked into the lie that these dreams I have are too big, too far fetched, too unrealistic. But that is a load of hooey. If my husband can become a doctor (side note: he graduates in 3 months!) and accomplish his dreams, whose to say that I can’t accomplish mine.

The only thing standing between you and your goals is YOU. You and your beliefs. Beliefs that you can or cannot do something. It’s okay if you don’t have money, start where you are. Do what you can. Just push for the things that make you the happiest. Life isn’t going to magically hand you your dream career and your dream life. Just like marriage, building a career is hard. And buidling a career on the side of your full time job is even harder. So give yourself grace. Tell yourself its okay to make mistakes and to not be where you want to be. You are only guaranteed one day, so keep pushing to make today the best day. Keep pushing each day to make tomorrow a better day. Just don’t give up. If you know that you don’t want to look back on your life without having made a difference, then get out and make a difference! Get out there and help those in need, encourage those who are desperate for a positive message, and bring light to this world that is getting consumed in darkness.

Pursue your career goals, bring light to the darkest areas in the world, find ways to be positive and happy so that you can bring more light into the world. Most of all, don’t accept that life is what it is. It’s up to you to make it better. Stay focused on the end result and one day you will look back and know that you made a difference in this world. People will always be negative, there will always be those who doubt you and your abilities. Don’t listen to those lies. You were created by a wonderful and powerful God. Believe that He made you for a reason and shine that light He gave you into the world.

Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

5 Tips to Building Confidence in 2020

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Do you start every 2020 with a list of resolutions? Are they normally goals like exercising more frequently or eating healthier? While these are goals to be admired and ones we should all stick to, they normally don’t last longer than a month into the new year. So this year, I implore you, don’t look at 2020 as a list of resolutions that you have to meet in order to succeed. Instead look at 2020 as an opportunity to be more confident. Make one goal and bet on yourself. Bet that you can and will be more confident in 2020.

Bet on yourself that you can be confident in all areas of your life. Be more confident in your relationships, in your career, in your finances, in your dreams and goals. Instead of saying, I need to lose 10 pounds by July, say I need to be more confident and to do that I will eat right and work out. And every day strive to be just a tiny bit more confident. The more you strive for confidence, the less you will beat yourself up if you mess up or don’t have time for that goal today. Confidence manifests itself throughout every part of your life. The more you focus on becoming self-assured and confident, the more you will find yourself succeeding in all other areas.

There are many ways to start developing confidence in your life, but here are 5 tips to build you confidence as we start the new year.

1.) Let Go

Let go of the anger, hatred or jealousy that you are harboring. And if you believe you aren’t harboring any, take a deep breath and really think through your life. I bet there is something that is in the back of your subconscious bothering you. I struggle the most with jealousy. Jealousy of what I expected to be doing in my career, jealousy of what I thought my life would look like at this point, jealousy of travels that others have taken. It’s my biggest struggle to let go of. But everyday I work to let go of that jealousy. To work on myself and who I am instead of focusing on others and what they are doing. Whatever you are harboring in your heart is stopping you from being your most confident self. Let go of the anger, hatred and jealousy; forgive others, and most importantly forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for any past mistakes or regrets you may have. You have more confidence in you than you believe you do.

2.) Count Your Blessings

Think of the song by Bing Crosby when you are feeling down on yourself. “When I’m worried and I can’t sleep. I count my blessings instead of sheep. I fall asleep counting my blessings.” It’s easy to get down on ourselves and lose our confidence when we forget to count our blessings. Even in those moments where you think there are no blessings to be found, there are. And that is what you need to focus on. There are more blessings than you will ever know. The more you focus on your blessings, the more confident you will be. Blessings will show you how good you really have it and confidence will flow from that revelation.

3.) Keep the Faith

You are going to fall on hard times. You are going to hit times of financially, emotional, physical or family crisis. It’s inevitable and a part of this life. All I know with certainty is that there is a God who loves you. Who is ready to meet you where you are and loves you unconditionally. So keep the faith, keep your heart and mind focused on what is truly important in this life. And when you do, you will notice your confidence growing because you will have put your confidence in the one who can handle it all.

4.) Show Kindness

One of the most proven ways to build confidence is by doing something kind for someone else. It seems like an oxymoron but its true. Giving of yourself to someone else brings calm to you as well as confidence. Because confidence is not only an inward manifestation, its an outward one as well. It requires giving of yourself in ways you are not used to. So go out of your way to help someone. And yes, giving someone a cup of coffee counts. But it doesn’t need to be money. It can be taking time to help someone carry their groceries, it can be mowing your neighbors lawn, or babysitting someones kids so they can have a date night. Kindness is not expensive, it just takes the confidence to step out and offer it.

5.) Be Gracious with Yourself

You are not going to be perfect, you never will be. You will fail and you will make mistakes. Sometimes over and over again. Confidence is being gracious when you’ve made a mistake. It’s not belittling yourself after a mistake, instead its picking yourself back up and pushing forward. Be gracious with yourself, you only get one chance on this earth. Take it and embrace every moment, the good and the bad, because that’s all you get. Be confident, be brave and be gracious.

I am confident that you can make this year the best one yet. It’s up to you to choose to be the best version of yourself. So be confident, be strong and be kind in all circumstances. 2020 is going to be your year!